Imposter syndrome: what is it and how can you get rid of it?

Maria Martinez Ricart, a psychiatrist specializing in neuroscience, explains that this syndrome occurs when “your true identity does not match the identity inside your mind. And when you feel that you are much worse than you actually are.”

This makes us unable to “realize what we are capable of achieving, and to feel that we are not worthy of what we have already achieved,” explains Isabel Aranda, a Ph.D. in psychology and member of the Madrid Psychological Association.

In order to compensate for what they believe they are falling short of, people with this syndrome may tend to overwork, or use other compensatory mechanisms that may ultimately lead to harmful consequences for their health, such as anxiety or depression.

It is noteworthy that psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Susan Ames were the first to give a name to this psychological phenomenon in 1978. This syndrome cannot be considered a disease or a mental condition, but it is an acquired behavior, and therefore it can be eliminated, according to experts we spoke to.

Anyone may suffer from this syndrome, but it is more common among women. Experts attribute this to the lack of female role models, gender stereotypes and biases (woman-man) in the workplace, and the educational system; It is customary to often expect women to put in less effort than men.

“We try so hard to show that we can get the job done, because we perceive that we are starting at a lower level than we actually are,” said Maria, the founder of a consulting service that also calls it “impostor syndrome.”

The three psychologists we spoke to believe that if we feel we cannot cope with a situation, we should seek professional help. They also give us advice on how to get rid of this syndrome and enhance our confidence and self-esteem.

It seems obvious, but the main obstacle in any emotional problem is that we do not take the time to connect with ourselves, to connect with what is happening to us and think about it for enough time.

What we say to ourselves – and how we say it – is hugely important. Isabel Aranda said: “You have to realize that you do not value yourself, and you do not know how to say ‘Well done’ or congratulate her, and you also believe inside yourself that you do not deserve this success.”

Maria Ricart emphasized that this critical voice, always strongly demanding that we do more and telling us, “You have not done enough,” appeared at some point in our lives “as a voice that helped us survive in our environment.” This may have helped us improve in some areas, but we have to be careful when this becomes an obstacle in our way that prevents us from moving forward.

“Trying to find the source of this feeling may help us confront the problem and see if it has gotten out of control,” Dolores Liria said.

A small perspective can help relieve overwhelming stress and exhaustion, and it may also help us release these feelings and evaluate ourselves in a more constructive way.

Dolores Liria recommends that we recall from memory what happened to us on other occasions when we faced similar challenges. “We may have felt the same way at those times, but for the most part we were able to overcome it,” she says.

You can create a mental summary when you have “fraud thoughts” or even write down your accomplishments in a handwritten or digital list.

“It’s like a personal development portfolio, but with things you have to do with yourself,” Isabel Aranda said.

Maria Rickart calls this list the “Tree of Achievement,” explaining that it is very useful because we can refer to it when we forget the things we have accomplished so that we can regain connection with that part of ourselves.

“Once you accomplish one thing, you move on to the next thing without giving yourself a chance to celebrate it, to appreciate it, or to show yourself some gratitude for the effort you made,” says Maria Martinez Ricart.

Here lies the importance of celebrating, living with and connecting to every achievement, regardless of whether it is big or small, according to Maria Ricart.

She adds: “Because behind every achievement there is a price you pay and an effort you make. You have to give yourself an opportunity to live the experience, be grateful for it, and of course enjoy it. If you do not give yourself this opportunity, you will feel that this achievement is as if it did not happen.”

The psychologist pointed out that in this case, “it is about connecting with achievement, being satisfied with it, admiring oneself and saying to yourself: ‘I did it, I am very happy, I deserve it after a lot of effort.’”

In addition, Maria stresses the importance of working on “worthiness,” regardless of the nature of the achievement, explaining that “we have value in the simple truth of essence and existence. You have to remind yourself that you are a person worthy of all that is good, regardless of the nature of your work.”

Maria agreed with Isabel Aranda that formulating and repeating a sentence to communicate a sense of worth and strength and a sense of it may be helpful in communicating accomplishments.

Maria and Isabel explained that this is not “a way to call on the universe around you for help,” but a system to reinforce the idea that you are a “valuable person worthy” of good things so that you connect with the universe emotionally and mentally.

One of the most important characteristics of this psychological phenomenon is the gap between the way you see yourself and the way others see you.

“That’s why it can be helpful to see yourself through the eyes of others, in the mirror of others,” Isabelle said.

Besides asking others questions, Isabelle recommends keeping a list of what others say about you. She added: “Write when you get compliments. And don’t forget what people say about your work.”

If there are any doubts about the quality of performance in the workplace, Dolores Liria believes that the solution is to simply ask for feedback on your performance from others.

“We shouldn’t wait for others to tell us how we’re doing at work,” she said. “If you have doubts, instead of waiting, ask managers for feedback if you’re not sure you’re doing a job well, or if you need someone to confirm it for you.” “.

In all relationships, there are expectations that each party has regarding what the other party can provide.

But when it comes to imposter syndrome, your expectations may not be tied to what you expect from your job but rather what you expect from yourself.

This requires striking a balance between the two matters.

Isabelle said: “What does it mean that you are not up to the task or role assigned to you? How do you see yourself? How do you evaluate your level?”

She suggested that there is training that might help in discovering whether our expectations are exaggerated or unrealistic, and in this case it is normal for us to feel fear of not achieving them. For example, it is not realistic to expect that we will be able to run a marathon in four months when we only started training a few days ago.

In this case, she advised, we should defer to someone with more experience than us to give us clear guidance about what is expected of us in a particular job or task, “so we can adjust those expectations” according to what we can achieve.

What was mentioned above – how we feel about ourselves and how we meditate with it and listen to it – is related to self-care, which experts say is important to be aware of what is happening to us and to set rules for ourselves to follow.

Sports can help achieve this. “(Exercise) is a very important emotional self-regulator. But you don’t have to go to the gym, it can be anything that involves movement like walking or dancing,” Dolores Leria said.

She emphasized that the goal is to find what helps us, what gives us reassurance.

She explained: “It’s about strategies that help us relax and reduce the intensity of what we feel. After that, try to see things in a different way. It could be exercise, mindfulness, singing, dancing, or talking to someone you trust.” Strategies.

Once we regain trust, which is essential, this voice that keeps asking us for more will fade away.

We must also keep in mind the importance of disconnecting from work and connecting to other things, such as family and friends. Dolores emphasized that “having a supportive social network whose members we interact with face to face improves our self-esteem.”

She also recommended looking for simple daily sources of contentment, saying: “Life may be difficult, and work may be difficult, but there are nice and simple things that can cheer you up in a moment of anxiety and take you out of this stress. You may find that in many things, starting from someone who treats you kindly to… Enjoying a nice view of the sunrise.”

At the same time, we can ignore this critical voice demanding more, and move forward on our way to gaining greater confidence, and treating ourselves with kindness and kindness, says Maria Martinez Ricart.