Hayley Smith’s husband, Matthew, was diagnosed with grade 4 glioma in 2016
“Some people don’t know that Matthew has died, and they still see his birthday and write happy birthday on his account, which is very annoying,” Hayley says.
Hayley Smith’s husband, Matthew, died more than two years ago after suffering from cancer, at the age of 33. Hayley Smith is still struggling with what to do about his social media accounts.
“I tried to turn Matthew’s Facebook account into a memorial page, and what it asks you to do is upload his death certificate,” says Hayley, who works for a charity and lives in the UK. “I’ve done that more than 20 times and nothing happens, and I don’t have the energy to call Facebook to try.” Solve the problem”.
What is a memorial account?
With advances in technology and billions of people around the world using social media platforms, what happens to someone’s online presence after death has become a huge topic.
Accounts remain active unless a relative informs the relevant social media platform of the person’s death.
Some social media platforms offer the option to close the profile after officially notifying a relative of the person’s death, while others offer other alternatives.
For example, when a death certificate is provided to Meta – the company that owns Facebook and Instagram – the deceased’s account can be deleted or “memorialized” – meaning the account will be frozen in time, and turned into a memorial page allowing people to post photos and memories.
image source, Getty Images
Communication platforms vary from one another, but all companies prioritize the privacy of the deceased
A message reading “In Memoriam” appears next to the user’s name, and no one should be able to log into and operate the account if the original user has not provided a “Legacy Contact” – a family member or friend authorized to manage account content or submit a profile deletion request .
On Facebook, memorial accounts are not recommended to potential virtual friends in the People You May Know tab, and users on a deceased person’s friends list will not be notified about their date of birth.
Google, which owns YouTube, Gmail, and Google Photos, gives its users the option to change their “inactive account” settings to determine what happens to their accounts and data if they are inactive for a specific period of time.
As for the X platform, it does not provide the option to save the personal file in memory of the deceased, and the account cannot be canceled except in the event of death or the inability of its owner to use it.
“There are different approaches, but all companies prioritize the privacy of the deceased,” says Joe Tiede, technology correspondent for the BBC World Service.
“No login details will be shared, and you will only be able to access certain data such as photos and videos with specific requests that sometimes require a court order,” he adds.
He says that newer social media platforms, such as TikTok and Snapchat, do not have any provisions in place.
Should we prepare a digital legacy?
Active profiles of dead users could pose a problem if data or photos fall into the wrong hands, warns Sasa Zivanovic, a cybercrime expert and former head of the high-tech crimes department at the Serbian Interior Ministry.
“Photos, data and videos can be used to create fake accounts under a pseudonym, blackmail acquaintances and friends who do not know that the person in question is dead, and force them to send money,” he says.
James Norris, founder of the UK Digital Heritage Society, stresses that it is important for everyone to think about the content they upload to social networks and to make a backup copy when they can.
He points out that on the Facebook platform, for example, you can download an entire archive of your photos and videos and pass it on to your closest relatives.
“So, if I was diagnosed with a terminal illness and I had a young child who wasn’t on Facebook, I might download all my photos and videos, and delete the messages because I don’t want my child to see my private messages,” says James. “I organize my favorite photos and write a story about each one.” picture”.
James Norris advises people to prepare a digital legacy will
James believes it’s important to plan for what happens to your social media accounts after you die, and recommends people prepare a ‘digital and social media will’ in relation to their digital estate.
He adds: “At the end of the day, social networks are a business. These platforms are not the custodians of your digital heritage. The custodians of your digital heritage are you.”
However, he believes that social media platforms can make the process easier for bereaved relatives.
“It’s important to raise awareness of the features and tools available on each platform that not everyone knows exist,” James adds.
“Digital legacy is not just about social media.”
“Digital legacy is a very important topic,” warns Sarah Stanley, research officer at Marie Curie, a UK-based charity that provides care and support for people with terminal illnesses and their loved ones.
She stresses that people need to think not only about their social media accounts, but about everything they own digitally and what they should do in the event of death.
image source, Getty Images
Sarah Atanli says digital legacy is not just limited to social media
Sarah says: Digital photos and videos can hold a lot of memories, and also we now do a lot of financial management online in terms of banking.
She adds: “Then there are music accounts that are created to create playlists, and we have seen an increase in the use of online gaming, where people spend a lot of time and put a lot of effort into creating their avatars and living in an online space, so I think it is important to emphasize However, digital legacy is not just about social media.”
“Do we want someone to take over our social media accounts? Do we want someone to remember them? Do we want to be able to pass the digital photo album on to our kids? Or do we want to print it out like people used to have a nice printed photo album that we can take to “Someone after we’re dead? Digital legacy is definitely something that needs to be thought about.”
Hayley says she still wants to memorialize Matthew’s Facebook page
But for Hayley and Matthew, it wasn’t an easy topic to discuss.
“I didn’t really talk to Matthew about this when he was dying, because he didn’t want to talk about death,” says Hayley. “He wanted to live as long as he could, but he got seriously ill, and he wasn’t himself. So, he couldn’t answer my questions.” “.
Matthew and Hayley had been married for just over a year when Matthew was diagnosed with stage 4 glioblastoma in 2016 at the age of 28.
The doctor told them: “Your lives are about to change forever, and not for the better,” noting that Matthew was suffering from a brain tumor and that he needed life-saving surgery immediately.
Although the surgery and chemotherapy went well, the tumor grew back over time and they were told Matthew only had one year to live.
“His name was on everything, on our bills, on everything I owned,” Hayley says.
“So, I had to move everything, and it was very difficult,” she adds. “It took about 18 months to do all the digital management work that I needed to do.”
She says she still wants to memorialize Matthew’s Facebook page, but is not engaging with it at this point.
“I think it’s really painful to constantly look at a document that is a death certificate, so that’s why I’ve been avoiding doing that because it’s just a small piece of paper,” she adds.
“I think it’s a very complicated process, and companies should make it easier for bereaved people,” she says.
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